TRUMP
Tyrant
Radical
Unpleasant
Misogynist
Pompous
Here’s a small list of people who are thrilled about that. Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Vladimir Putin, Vladimir Lenin, and Karl Marx.
Just kidding, the real list goes something more like this: Every. Sane. Person In America.
Now that we know that Donald Trump will be the next president, we are all happy knowing that we won’t get involved in World War Three until either four more years when Trump’s final term ends, or when the left realizes that shooting people in the ear, does not in fact, kill them. If we do get involved in World War Three, however, Trump will get Israel to send the United States a stock of pagers and walkie talkies to give to the enemy in case of emergency.
As soon as Donald Trump gets into office, the wars in the Middle East and in Russia and Ukraine are going to end. They will end because those countries know Trump has a bit of a twitchy finger for the nuke button.
Donald Trump will now be the second person in United States history to have served two nonconsecutive terms. The other was Grover Cleveland.
Anyone who voted for Trump, congratulations. According to Joe Biden, you are now MAGA garbage. Little did Biden know that when he said this, he was giving my two older brothers a great idea for a Halloween costume. They got garbage bags, cut out holes for their arms and heads, and stuffed the empty spaces with old newspapers. With MAGA written on their foreheads, my brothers terrorized the neighborhood.
I know I can’t ask anyone who they voted for because the voting booth is the only place they have privacy, but I hope you made the right decision. In case you didn't notice, I was mocking the Kamala Harris ad, and it's quite easy to mock. My gosh! What a stupid ad. And that’s coming from the kid who has memorized every word of the latest Liberty Mutual ads. Commercials are no joke today. The Privacy in the voting booth and the ‘White guys for Harris ads’ should be the butt of jokes for years to come.
I love American history and I’ve been thinking. Some of the greatest presidents the United States have ever had, changed their views at one point or another in their lives. George Washington was a British soldier in the French and Indian War, Abraham Lincoln didn’t really change his views but he was a great president and didn’t believe that black people should have the same rights as white people, Ronald Reagan was not a Republican and then his party affiliation changed to the Republicans, Donald Trump was a Republican, then In 1999, he changed his party to the Independence Party of New York. In August 2001, Trump changed his party affiliation to Democratic. In September 2009, he changed his party affiliation back to the Republican Party. Trumps, gone through the worst parties, including democratic, but now he’s won the election for the Republicans.
As you’ve probably figured out, the title of this article is a joke. It is a list of some things that the left says describes Donald Trump and we’re going to figure out how much of it is true, and how much of it is false. Is Trump a tyrant? No. He is a leader who will do what is best for the country. Is Trump a Radical? The meaning of the word radical, from the Definitions from Oxford Languages, is, ‘relating to or affecting the fundamental nature of something; far-reaching or thorough.’ So yes, I would say that Trump is on the radical side. Is Trump unpleasant? Only if you get on his bad side. Is he a misogynist? No, absolutely not. He's doing better than some of the left, he's married. To a woman. Is Trump Pompous? 110% But that’s one thing that is so great about him. The level of cockiness that is in Trump will always make you laugh. Like when he gets cocky about his golf swing in the middle of a debate. Seriously though, I think the left hired that guy to shoot Trump while he was at a golf course so that Biden wouldn't have to live up to his boasts at his and Trump's debate.
Who's excited to have the most powerful person in the world be a big headed McDonalds employee? I know I am.
Trump reminds me of Winston Churchill in a lot of ways! Great article!
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